Regular
Mail and E-Mails
Fialka and Mikus (1999)
use the term "partnership mail" to describe the communication between
parents and professionals that takes place through notes, letters, and e-mail.
The authors stipulate that partnership mail provides a forum for providing feedback
about the work of team members, as well as updates on the childs issues.
Following the metaphor of the dance, partnership mail strengthens relationships
by helping each participant learn more about the music and dance steps of their
partners. "When parents and professionals receive honest and caring positive
feedback from each other, it nourishes our commitment, informs us about what
is helpful and just plain feels good." (Fialka and Mikus, p. 46)
Some appropriate times to
send partnership mail may include:
- welcoming a new partner
at the beginning of a relationship
- expressing follow-up
thoughts after a formal meeting or informal exchange
- recognizing the stress
faced by the partner at a difficult time
- expressing appreciation
when the partner makes a positive contribution or extra effort
- providing feedback on
whats working and what isnt
- acknowledging differences
or conflicts and addressing the feelings involved
Instant
Feedback:
Partnership
mail should only be used for positive feedback or written reminders.
"Partnership mail....helps
to make the unspoken thoughts between partners more visible. This type of communication
has the potential to give depth to the working relationships that evolve between
parents and professionals. (Fialka & Mikus, p. 50)
The authors provide helpful
guidelines for effective partnership mail, including:
- be genuine and authentic
- identify positive contributions
of the partner
- identify positive aspects
of your work with the partner
- acknowledge feelings,
stresses, and efforts
- express thanks for the
things your partner did not say or did not do, that were helpful
- mention and describe
behaviors you would like to see more of
- reframe the partners
difficult behaviors
- mention your hopes for
the partnership and for the childs future
- take responsibility for
yourself in difficult situations; apologize when appropriate
Instant
Feedback:
Effective
partnership mail is genuine and honest, and can be appropriately used to communicate
emotions.