Abusers are often violent
only to their partners and present themselves in a harmonious manner to non-intimate
others. Many batterers eventually stop using physical violence when they realize
it is too objectively documented and likely to be reported. They substitute
psychological abuse and intimidation in its place.
Domination in the intimate
partnership is maintained through invalidation, put-downs, blaming and shaming,
insistence on servitude, social isolation, withholding of finances, sabotaging
the partners efforts to get and hold a job, using the children as pawns,
instituting fear, and general crazy-making tactics.
Perpetrators of DV usually have difficulty in all their interpersonal relationships.